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Simara James is a mother of two, mindfulness coach and consultant, author, podcast host and flexible work expert looking to improve the lives of women across the globe by sharing tips to creating more balance and design a live that's full of fulfillment. 

How to tell of someone lacks empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is an important quality to have in any relationship, as it allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and to better understand their perspectives and experiences.

There are a few signs that a person has empathy:

  1. They are good at reading nonverbal cues: Empathetic people are usually very attuned to the body language and facial expressions of those around them. They can often tell when someone is upset or uncomfortable, even if that person doesn't verbalize their feelings.

  2. They are good listeners: Empathetic people are generally very good at listening to others. They give others their full attention and actively try to understand their perspective. They may ask questions or clarify things to make sure they fully understand the other person's point of view.

  3. They are compassionate: Empathetic people are generally very caring and compassionate towards others. They are often the first to offer help or support when someone is in need, and they genuinely want to make a difference in the lives of others.

  4. They are able to put themselves in others' shoes: Empathetic people are able to "step into" the shoes of others and see things from their perspective. They can understand and relate to the feelings of others, even if they have not personally experienced something similar.

  5. They are open to feedback and learning: Empathetic people are usually open to learning and growing, and they are willing to take feedback from others. They recognize that they can always improve their empathy skills and are willing to put in the work to do so.

In summary, empathy is an important quality that allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and to better understand their experiences and perspectives. If you exhibit the signs above, you likely have a strong capacity for empathy.


There are a few signs that a person may lack empathy:

  1. They struggle to recognize or identify with the feelings of others: People who lack empathy may have difficulty understanding or recognizing the emotions of others. They may be oblivious to the subtle cues that others give off, such as body language or tone of voice, that indicate someone is upset or distressed.

  2. They are self-centered: People who lack empathy may be more focused on their own needs and desires, rather than those of others. They may be more concerned with their own happiness and well-being, rather than the happiness and well-being of those around them.

  3. They have difficulty maintaining relationships: People who lack empathy may struggle to maintain close relationships, as they may have difficulty understanding and connecting with others on an emotional level. They may also come across as distant or aloof, which can make it difficult for others to form a bond with them.

  4. They are quick to judge or criticize: People who lack empathy may be more prone to judging or criticizing others, rather than trying to understand their perspective or experiences. They may be more focused on their own beliefs and values, rather than considering the thoughts and feelings of others.

  5. They have a hard time apologizing or taking responsibility for their actions: People who lack empathy may struggle to apologize or take responsibility for their actions, as they may not fully understand or recognize the impact of their behavior on others. They may also be more defensive when confronted with their actions, rather than trying to understand how they may have hurt or offended someone.


It's important to note that everyone has the capacity for empathy, and it is something that can be developed and strengthened over time. If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, it may be worth considering ways to work on your empathy skills.

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